Winter Nights Gone By
by BlueSakura
Summary: [oneshot] Christmas Eve, and a man clad in black reflects on his past. (A bittersweet-angsty fic. Please read and review. ^_^)


Disclaimer:  I claim no rights to X or any of its characters. They belong to the four fabulous ladies of CLAMP and all other owners. The storyline and the made-up ideas are my own. This fic was written solely for entertainment, and I earn no profits from the writing of this fic. So please don't sue. ^_^;;;

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Winter Nights Gone By

By:  BlueSakura

BlueSakura@worldnet.att.net

Warnings:  Spoilers for Seishirou's character file, and possibly spoilers for his side story in X16. Otherwise, pretty much spoiler-free. This fic deals with Seishirou and his memories of the past, mainly a recollection of his mother. So, warnings for suggestive hints, I guess. -_-;; 

Dedication: This fic is for Vision, my best friend, biggest supporter, and the craziest Subaru fanatic I've ever met. ^_^

~*~*~*~

Nighttime in Tokyo is never truly dark. The city comes to life in the late hours; the glow of neon lights and vibrantly lit signs adds a lively brightness to the area. People seem to materialize out of nowhere, people very different from the businessmen who congest the streets in the daylight hours: groups of chattering teenagers, young couples holding hands, twenty-something-year-olds out for a night of clubbing. Business zones are transformed into trendy hangouts, and the city seems to glow with the youth of the modern generation.

But in the early morning hours, long after the clock has struck midnight and the partygoers have returned to their homes, the night becomes still. The streetlights cast a subtle glow over the pavement, and the glimmering stars add their own soft light to the darkness. Their glow adds serenity to the quiet peacefulness of the night.

On this particular night, Tokyo is unusually still. After all, it is Christmas Eve, the one night on which almost all people choose to spend at home with their loved ones. The snow has not yet fallen this year, and one can hear the soothing sounds of the dark: the wind whispering in the air, the naked branches of the trees silently swaying with the breeze. And if one pays very close attention, one might hear a quiet brush of movement, the echo of soft footsteps strolling down the empty streets. One might see a dark trenchcoat-clad figure moving through the streetlights, casting long shadows on the pavement as it shifts through each yellow circle of light.

A spark of fire flares up from a cigarette lighter held between the figure's fingers; from afar, the flame seems to dance on the palm of his hand. The figure brings the lighter to his mouth to ignite the cigarette between his lips, illuminating his face. Sakurazuka Seishirou lights the cigarette and inhales deeply, the smoke trailing from the cigarette and curling into the atmosphere. Then the flame goes out, and Seishirou is immersed in darkness once again.

Christmas Eve is a time for tranquility, a time for reflection. It is a night that oftentimes stirs up memories of the past winter nights gone by.

Seishirou's lips part imperceptibly, and he murmurs a single word, so quietly that no one can hear.

"Okaasan…"

~*~*~*~

"I'm home, Seishirou."

Sakurazuka Setsuka appeared in the doorway, her usual seductive smile gracing her lips. Her elegant kimono rustled as she made her way across the room to where her son was seated. 

Seishirou looked up from the small book he was reading. "Welcome home, Okaasan."

He closed the book and set it down on the window ledge where he had been sitting. As Setsuka drew near him, he stood up and embraced her in greeting. 

Setsuka smiled up at him, and then looked over his shoulder through the window. The sun had already set long ago, and a comfortable darkness had settled in. White snow blanketed the grounds of the Sakurazuka estate; it seemed to sparkle in the pale glow of the moonlight. 

Setsuka closed her eyes and smiled to herself, savoring the feel of Seishirou's arms around her before she spoke.

"Do you know what day it is today, Seishirou?"

Seishirou looked down at his mother's face, the faint suggestion of a smile appearing on his lips.

"It's Christmas Eve. But then, it's already past midnight now, ne? So this is Christmas Day."

Unexpectedly, Seishirou gently pushed his mother away from him. Setsuka opened her eyes and looked at him in puzzlement.

"Seishirou?"

Seishirou smiled reassuringly at his mother and said, "I have something for you."

He leisurely walked across the room to the coffee table and picked up a bouquet of camellias that was lying on the elegant wooden surface. Then he crossed the room back to where Setsuka was standing by the window, still watching him in confusion. Seishirou smiled gently and took her hand, placing the bouquet in her palm.

"Merry Christmas, Okaasan."

Setsuka's eyes softened as she admired the beautiful bouquet in her hand. Lifting her other hand, she stroked the red blossoms as she cradled the bouquet against her body.

"You told me once that the camellia was your favorite flower," Seishirou said. 

"That's right." Setsuka smiled up at her son as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Arigatou, Seishirou. They're beautiful."

"Just like you."

Setsuka smiled, in her usual suggestive manner. "Such a charming son."

She laughed lightly as she leaned forward into Seishirou's embrace, resting her head against his shoulder. She spoke her next words softly, tenderly.

"I love you, Seishirou."

"I love you, too."

"No, you don't."

There was no malice in her tone, only acceptance of the fact. She raised her head from where she had been resting it against his shoulder and smiled up at him. "You don't love me. You care for no one." She placed one hand on his chest, directly over his heart. 

"Your heart cannot feel, and so you love no one. Ne?"

"That's not true, Okaasan. How can I not care for you? You are my mother. And you are beautiful."

Setsuka giggled, her laughter tinkling like tiny bells blown in the breeze.

"That's right. You love beautiful things. You are very much like me, Seishirou."

And then, quite unusually, a wistful look gradually appeared in her eyes. "But even though you care nothing for me, you will one day come to love someone. And that someone will teach your heart how to feel."

"Okaasan?"

Setsuka smiled mysteriously.

"Would you like to hear a story, Seishirou?"

She sat down on the window ledge and motioned for Seishirou to sit next to her. Her eyes closed of their own accord, and the curve of a smile appeared on her lips. However, it was not her usual cool, suggestive smile; rather, it was a gentle, peaceful one, a warm smile that rivaled the beauty of the seductive one she always wore. She opened her eyes and smiled gently at Seishirou as she began her story.

"There was once a Sakurazukamori who lived here in this house, as every Sakurazukamori has for many generations. This Sakurazukamori was a very tall, handsome young man. He had hair as dark as the feathers of a raven, and he had the most beautiful smile in the world. His eyes were the most lovely shade, exactly the color of amber."

Setsuka touched Seishirou's cheek and added softly, "Just like yours."

"One day, on beautiful spring morning, the young Sakurazukamori met a girl in Ueno Park standing underneath the branches of the old sakura tree. The two fell deeply in love, and after one year the Sakurazukamori proposed to the girl. Soon after that, they were married."

Setsuka smiled dreamily, so unlike the seductive smile she always wore, until now. It seemed that a mask had fallen away to reveal a tender soul, hidden deep within her heart. Her eyes softened as she continued her story. 

"The girl knew from the beginning that her beloved was the Sakurazukamori, but she didn't care. She knew that his duty as the Sakurazukamori was to take the live of others, but this fact did not stop her from loving him. All she cared about was the fact that he loved her, loved her more deeply than anyone else he had ever loved in his entire life. The young man knew this, and he loved her even more for it. 

"The couple lived happily together for the next five years. During those years, the girl gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, who looked just like his father. And the whole time, the love that the young man and the girl shared was just as strong as it was the day they met under the sakura tree.

"After five years, the time came for the young man to be replaced by the next Sakurazukamori. So, one day, the couple returned to Ueno Park, to the place where they had first met. And there, the girl killed her beloved on a beautiful spring morning, under the branches of the old sakura tree. The young man died happily in her arms, and the girl became the new Sakurazukamori. 

"When her beloved died, the girl felt glad that she was the one to take his life. She loved him dearly, and she knew that he loved her back. The girl knew that the only person who could ever take the life of the Sakurazukamori was the one who he loved best. Because of this, she knew that her beloved had indeed loved her more than anyone else. And so she was happy."

Setsuka smiled softly as she finished her story. She gazed at the bouquet of camellias Seishirou had given her, and then lifted her eyes to her son's face.

Seishirou had closed his eyes as he listened to his mother's story. Now he opened them and said, "The Sakurazukamori in your story was my father, wasn't he, Okaasan? And the girl in the story was you."

Setsuka smiled and gently nodded her head. "That's right, Seishirou. That was the story of how your father and I fell in love."

She paused momentarily, and then continued speaking. "You see, before I met your father, there was no one I cared about in the world. But your father opened my heart to emotions, to new experiences that I had never known before. He was the one who taught me how to feel."

Another smile curved across Setsuka's lips as she stroked the red camellia blossoms of the bouquet. "When your father and I were married, the wedding bouquet I carried was made of camellias. They were the flowers that your father loved, and they became the flowers that I loved as well."

Setsuka gazed at her son's face. And as she watched, she saw her beloved husband gazing back at her, through the eyes of their son. A tender smile crossed her lips as she spoke.

"When you are the Sakurazukamori, Seishirou, you will meet someone who you will love more than life itself. Someone who you will love, in the same way your father loved me." 

"Will I, Okaasan?"

Setsuka smiled mysteriously, yet gently. "Aa. Every Sakurazukamori is always killed by the one whom he or she loves most. It was that way with your father, and it will be the same with me. One day, you will also die by the hand of the one you love most. And that person will take your place as the next Sakurazukamori."

Setsuka closed her eyes, smiling softly as she continued. "When the time comes, you will kill me and replace me as the new Sakurazukamori. Because you are the one I love most."

 She opened her eyes and reached up to touch Seishirou's face, tenderly stroking his cheek. Seishirou covered her petite hand with his own as she rested her palm on his cheek. And, as she smiled up at him, he brought her hand to his mouth and gently kissed it.

~*~*~*~

The streetlights continue to cast their steady glow over the pavement as Seishirou strolls down the empty streets, memories echoing in his mind. He recalls the sweet scent of sakura blossoms that seemed woven into the fabric of his mother's kimono. He remembers the feel of arms around his waist and the soft touch of a hand on his cheek. He sees his mother's delicate red lips smiling at him and moving as they form words, echoing in his mind.

_One day, you will die by the hand of the one you love most._

Seishirou closes his eyes and breathes in the night air. He exhales slowly, tendrils of smoke curling around him and melting into the darkness. And, veiled in the shadows where no one can see, his lips curve into a gentle smile.

::Subaru-kun…:: 

~end~

A/N:  Well, that was very first fanfic that I've ever written for anything in my entire life. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. ^_^ I'm just not sure if I really wanted to break out into the fanfic community with a darkish/somewhat disturbing fic like that… when I first started out, I had in mind a fluffy Karen/Aoki fic with Karen + Nataku interaction. ^_^;; I hope I didn't make Setsuka wildly OOC. Anyways, please tell me what you think! Arigato for reading! ^_^ *bows*


End file.
